When Do You Know It’s Time?

Dear Kev,

“One of my cats is 16 now. Her name is Emily and she is part Siamese. She has to live outside because she never learned how to use a box and she won’t go in her house when it rains. I call her a special kitty. She doesn’t get around very good. Her back legs don’t have very much strength and her fur is mating.  When is the right time to put them down? I love her, but I feel sorry for her.” – Dana in Brownfield, Texas.

Dana,

First…thank you for loving Emily for 16 whole years strong. That’s no small thing. She sounds like one of those fiercely independent souls who insists on doing life her own way, even if it means sunbathing in the rain and giving the litter box the cold shoulder.

That said, it’s clear you’re facing one of the hardest decisions any pet parent ever has to make. When is it time? There’s no exact formula. But there are signs. If Emily seems like she’s in pain, struggles to eat, drink, or move without distress, or if her quality of life has shrunk down to just getting through the day, that’s when it might be kinder to help her pass with peace and dignity.

You might also consider reaching out to a mobile vet who can come to your home (or yard, in Emily’s case). They can gently assess her and help you decide. Some also offer peaceful, at-home euthanasia, which can be a less stressful way to say goodbye.

And please don’t feel guilty. Feeling sorry for her doesn’t mean you’ve failed her. Quite the opposite. It means you see her, you care deeply, and you’re trying to do what’s best. Not what’s easy.

If Emily could talk (and being part Siamese, she’s probably come close), I bet she’d say, “Thanks for putting up with my quirks, the rain, the fur, and all. I’ve had a good life, and I love you.”

Sending a virtual hug from me to you and Emily in Brownfield.

Petworks Co-Founder Kevin Kinyon is a life-long animal lover who works tirelessly to improve the lives of pets and their parents. Human and animal qualities he values most are integrity, humor, and empathy.