Dear Kevin,
My male cat Remy pees and/or poops outside the litter box persistently. I adopted him from a shelter where he was housed for only 1 day. He was 10 months old and apparently had been in a home in a bad neighborhood, had been tuned out, and had slightly burned fur in spots. The first night in my home, at 2:00 am he peed in the middle of my bed. He continued this for 3 or 4 nights until the vet helped me stop this. It started again about a year later on the tunnel toy I got for both him and a female playmate I adopted for him who love each other. I had to get rid of the tunnel toy, but he continued to pee on the hall rug where it had been. He stopped for a few years but in the past two years has started again…now on my bed. I live in fear and dread never knowing when it will happen. Sometimes I ignored it and just cleaned up. Sometimes I would pick him up, rub his nose in it and then in the litter box, but nothing stops him. He seems to be unaware of doing anything wrong. The litter box is extremely clean, very large and in the bathroom in my small apartment quite close to everywhere.
I love him so much…
It breaks my heart to give him away, knowing someone else might turn him out and eventually he would be euthanized. And his sister Cherie loves him much. I cuddle him, caress him, feed him well and give him much affection. It will happen sometimes even after much loving too. But mostly it just happens! Long ago I realized his motto seems to be: “I want what I want when I want it.” He will be 11 years in August. I will be 90 in September. I don’t want to live with this situation much longer and know I have to do something soon. And I don’t want to live with ‘cat boarders’ as I love to show them love and treat them like my children. I have had 4 previous cats who were angels, whom I loved very much with never a problem. I am writing because I am hoping that your organization will screen someone and put me in touch with a cat communicator who is aware of the situation and will have a handle on it. I do not want to waste time and money. I live in an apartment in New York City. My cats are indoors. Looking forward to hearing from you! Sincerely, Ruth
Hi Ruth –
Thank you for writing to us and sharing your heartfelt story about Remy. It’s clear you have given this cat your whole heart, and you’ve gone above and beyond to care for him despite the challenges. Your patience, love, and devotion – are deeply admirable. You’re not alone, and the fact that you’re still seeking solutions instead of giving up says so much about your compassion.
From what you’ve described, it sounds like Remy’s behavior may be rooted in unresolved trauma or emotional stress, potentially dating back to his early experiences before adoption. Cats can carry emotional wounds just like people, and those early burns, instability, and fear could still be affecting his sense of security. Even now.
You’ve done everything right: a clean, accessible litter box, affection, attention, a companion cat. The intermittent nature of Remy’s peeing and the stress it causes you both point to emotional rather than physical causes (assuming his vet has ruled out medical issues like a urinary tract infection or arthritis). This is precisely the kind of situation where an experienced animal communicator may be able to help bridge the gap between Remy’s inner world and yours.
At Petworks, we work with highly regarded animal communicators and cat behavior experts who specialize in helping pet parents like you understand what might be going on in their pet’s mind and heart. These sessions, often conducted virtually, can uncover emotional triggers, help your cat feel heard, and provide you with guidance on how to shift behaviors with empathy.
Ruth, you’ve given Remy a loving, safe home for 11 years. It’s not your fault this behavior persists, and you deserve peace of mind in your golden years. An animal communicator or behaviorist may offer insight into what’s driving Remy’s actions, and potentially bring relief for both of you.
With warmth and respect from everyone here at Petworks,
Kevin
Petworks Co-Founder Kevin Kinyon is a life-long animal lover who works tirelessly to improve the lives of pets and their parents. Human and animal qualities he values most are integrity, humor, and empathy.
Well this sure helps me. Driving me nuts with these litter boxes!
Thank you for being of assistance to me
Petworks is always so helpful with proper pet care!
So important to clean litter boxes once daily
Thanks for your publication