Pet Love/Pet Aging/ Pet Loss Grief Specialist - Westport, CT

Losing your beloved companion animal is devastating--more so than we're usually prepared for.

I’m a psychotherapist and a pet-loss grief specialist. I say “specialist” because my work with pet parents who have lost or are soon to lose a pet is a special kind of work—reflecting the special relationship we have with our companion animals. Pet love is different from other love; a thing wonderfully apart.

Just as pet love is different from human love, pet-loss is different from human loss. Society, not so wise about any kind of grief, often doesn’t recognize this special relationship that each of us has with our pets. It doesn’t validate the depth of the heartbreak pet parents feel when their beloved companion animal dies, and can make them feel embarrassed, even ashamed, when they need support. (Just try asking your boss for a day at home when your cat dies.) Friends and family often channel the disinterest of the culture, and when they say things like, “Just get on with it” or, worse, “Hey, just get another cat,” pet-parents despair of ever being understood.

Even before the actual loss occurs, the challenges involved in beginning the process of grieving can be daunting. Not more difficult, not easier, but quite different from the challenges of grieving other losses.

Many people come in feeling surprised at the intensity of their grief. It's my job to help them plan for and manage the death of their pets as carefully, knowledgeably, and lovingly as I help clients through any other devastating loss. So we create a sanctuary, a place to honor the love of pets, and to honor their loss; a place where pet parents can express whatever they feel, fully, without embarrassment or shame. The goal is not just to alleviate the pain of the loss, but to continue a relationship, albeit obviously a different one, with their beloved pet. Contrary to the common wisdom, time alone cannot do that kind of healing. (If time did heal all wounds, I wouldn’t see so many people still sad ten years later.) A loss as big as a love needs help to heal.

You can read more about me and my work on dalmaheyn.com.