After my conversation with Ray ended, I began to think of the many people I have worked with over the years whose lives have been changed as a result of their relationship with a dog. I\u2019d like to be able to say that our work together was the primary source of change, but in my heart I know that their decision to bring a dog into their lives enabled us to work in therapy on a deeper level.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t mean to imply that we weren\u2019t progressing in therapy or that therapy wasn\u2019t helping. In some instances, the work in therapy helped create space for a dog in the lives of my clients. In other instances, however, relationships with dogs helped create space in therapy for further work. Cal had lost his wife Cathy to breast cancer after several surgeries, rounds of chemotherapy, and periods of remission. They had no children and while Cal felt support from friends, he was still returning each day to his home alone. While filled with memories, his loneliness was profound.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m 62 years old,\u201d he told me one day several months after his wife was gone. \u201cI was married for 40 years! I can\u2019t imagine having another relationship in my life at this point. I don\u2019t even know how to date!\u201d Despite my efforts at supporting Cal\u2019s process of grieving and being in the present, he consistently found himself focusing on the future. He didn\u2019t only lose his wife, he also lost what he imagined the rest of his life would be like with them together.<\/p>\n
We agreed that he\u2019d try not to think about another relationship, but would instead focus on taking care of himself each day, reaching out to friends, and trying to allow his grieving process to unfold rather than trying to control it. This was somewhat helpful for Cal during the first year following his wife\u2019s death, but as he began his second year without her, his hopelessness about the future was unmistakable.<\/p>\n
![\"Rescue](\"https:\/\/www.petworks.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/petworks-logo-article-e1734545691243.png\"){kind=logo}
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Are you finding this article useful?<\/strong> <\/em>Would you like 100% free access to more articles like these, and free access to over 5,000 vetted pet care service professionals<\/a><\/span> throughout the United States? Sign up here <\/a><\/span>for a free Petworks account, and we’ll email you a\u00a0 10% discount code, good towards your first pet care services booking on Petworks!<\/span><\/p>\n Much earlier in our work together and while still married, Cal had mentioned that he and his wife were considering adopting a dog. He\u2019d had a dog as a child but not as an adult. They were excited by the prospect of rescuing a dog from a shelter, but then his wife\u2019s cancer took center stage and having a dog seemed overwhelming while she was receiving chemotherapy.<\/p>\n I thought back to these conversations we had about dogs and one day in therapy in the second year of Cal\u2019s life without Cathy, I broached the subject with him. \u201cI remember several years ago we talked about bringing a dog into your life. I know circumstances made this impossible then, but I wonder if you\u2019ve thought about it at all now?\u201d<\/p>\n Cal was quiet for several seconds. \u201cI just can\u2019t do it,\u201d he said with sadness. \u201cThat was something I was going to do with Cathy, and I can\u2019t think about doing it alone. Besides,\u201d he continued, \u201chow would I manage taking care of a dog by myself when I\u2019m working and traveling?\u201d I tried to validate the feelings that came up when he remembered his conversations with Cathy, and I also tried to very gently offer ideas about how single people manage having a dog in their lives.<\/p>\n The next time we met, Cal initiated the conversation about adopting a dog. \u201cI haven\u2019t stopped thinking about dogs since our last session. I even started looking at Petfinder and found this great rescue organization just outside of Chicago.\u201d There was obvious excitement in his voice, and a hopefulness I\u2019d not heard in a very long time. We spent a fair amount of time talking about the logistics of having a dog, but by the end of the session, it was clear Cal needed no encouragement from me to continue his search.<\/p>\n After a few weeks, Cal brought home a 4 year old cocker spaniel<\/a><\/span> mix. He showed me pictures and went into great detail about all the work he\u2019d done to bring \u201cVivian\u201d into his home. He showed me pictures, told me stories about his dog-walking adventures, and shared more of his plans for himself and his new family member. \u201cHow did I not do this before?\u201d he asked more to himself than to me. \u201cI still miss Cathy, but for the first time in three years I\u2019m focusing more on life than I am on death.\u201d<\/p>\n Many other people with whom I have worked share similar life-changing experiences when bringing a canine companion into their homes.<\/p>\n \u2022 Randy struggled with alcoholism for years and was in and out of recovery. When he rescued a greyhound, he realized that he couldn\u2019t take care of his dog if he was drunk. His drinking slowed and ultimately he achieved abstinence through regular AA attendance and his commitment to his dog.<\/p>\n \u2022 Steve and his partner Connor loved each other but couldn\u2019t seem to achieve any kind of structure or organization in their lives. When they rescued their black lab from a Labrador Rescue, they created a schedule for walking and feeding him, which fostered their ability to create other structures in their lives around household tasks and bill payment.<\/p>\n \u2022 Anne was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and rarely allowed others to care for her, fearing that opening herself to love meant also opening herself to pain and betrayal. When she adopted a dachshund mix and brought her to a session, the dog never left her lap nor did her eyes stray from Anne. Months later, Anne had made several new friends through taking her dog to the dog beach.<\/p>\n I\u2019m never quite sure if therapy has paved the way for adoption or if adoption has paved the way for more meaningful therapy. Certainly, there is something that happens when we are required to meet the needs of a dog and when we experience the unconditional love a dog affords us. And when we are dealing with feelings of isolation, depression, or loneliness, a wagging welcome upon our return home reminds us we are not alone.<\/p>\n Many studies about the benefits of dogs or animal assisted therapy suggest that children with insecure or disorganized attachment, or children who have experienced sexual abuse, or adults with depression or anxiety benefit more from therapy dogs than they do from their interaction with friendly humans (Camp, 2008; Dietz, Davis, & Pennings, 2012). It comes as no surprise then, that people like Cal and Ray experience the benefits of attachment as a result of their relationships with their dogs.<\/p>\n Thanks to Ray, Cal, Randy, Steve, Connor, and Anne, as well as a significant number of my other clients who have adopted a dog while in therapy, I\u2019ve changed what I ask new clients in the first few sessions of information gathering. In addition to the standard questions about history and family composition, I also ask new clients if they have any animals in their lives. For those people who do have animals, I have been amazed at how that question changes the tone of the meeting. People sit up. They look at me directly. There is some sense of connection simply because I\u2019ve asked that question.<\/p>\n Despite my personal and professional experiences with dogs, I am careful not to advise or counsel anyone into making this kind of commitment. In writing about the extent to which dogs enhance our lives, I want to acknowledge the power of many animals to create the same outcomes I\u2019ve described with dogs.<\/p>\n I have to confess that I\u2019ve had dogs on my mind this past week, which has probably been the impetus for this post. Besides the usual amount of emotional space my three dogs occupy, this week marks a two year anniversary of the loss of a remarkable animal companion of my own.<\/p>\n My partner and I adopted Franklin, a three-legged poodle\/retriever mix when he was 9 years old (named after FDR because of his disability). He had lost his leg just one month prior to our adopting him and after spending what the rescue organization thought was several months on the streets. The day we adopted him, he galumphed through the house and landed on the living room couch, announcing he\u2019d finally come home. He quickly fell asleep with his head on my lap. I was lucky enough to have Frank in my life for just over two years before he died. While I\u2019ve always had dogs, Franklin was a unique testament to resilience, an indomitable spirit, and unconditional love. My life was enriched and forever changed through sharing those years with him.<\/p>\n Animals like Franklin, Rosie, and Vivian allow us to give and receive love often in a less threatening manner than human beings can. For many of us, walking a dog connects us with other dog owners and animal lovers. Relationships are enhanced through loving dogs and dogs loving us can enhance our loving of ourselves.<\/p>\n I looked at the list of my clients and was surprised to find that over 75% of them have a dog. That can\u2019t be a coincidence.<\/p>\nRescue Pets – Bringing a Dog Into Your Life<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Adopting A Dog<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Rescue Pets – Which Comes First?<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Rescue Pets Benefits<\/strong><\/h3>\n
Confession<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The Ultimate Connection<\/strong><\/h3>\n
\nAbout the Author<\/h5>\n
![\"Jeff](\"https:\/\/www.petworks.com\/articles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Jeff-Levy-150x150.png\")
As a longtime lover of animals, Jeff, an LCSW, believes in the incredible human-animal bond and the extent to which our relationships with our animal family members enhance the quality of our lives. As a licensed clinical social worker with a psychotherapy practice, Jeff offers individual pet loss grief support and counseling<\/a><\/span> as well as groups for people who have lost an animal family member.
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